Chinedu Gospel

look—what you see is not a boy in the
shape of the moon. but, a boy in the moon

searching for light. i am becoming more

& more like destiny. always blur from afar.
always uncertain like tomorrow. i will shine,

this i know. but, first, take me away from

the roof of your eyelashes & hide me in the
heart of a star. & then, call it betrayal. call it

departure. i never meant to hurt anyone. &

i will be back, after i’ve learned to glow in
the dark. after, i’ve learned to stop searching

for light in the moon. cut—what you see

is not blood. it’s the vulnerable me tired of
suffocating inside this body. the blade which

made color out of my palm, had forgotten to

leave a scar on it. so that, on moonless nights,
i would trace the lines & remember the war

that broke sugar into flammable saccharides.

i will become the boy of my dreams. this, i know
—too. but, i should look again—into the

mirror & rename what i see. which is to say,

faith is the threshold to glory. they say that
miracle is always fleeting. that when you stare

into a scar, the wounds vibrate. & i am caught

in the midst of ruin. touching both ends of
it like a pendulum. wondering how the heck

gravity can make me stop, & be at peace for once.