Content warning: consensual sexual violence
The phone buzzes and my hand
Slides automatically into my underwear,
I read your text:
Do you want?
Can I hurt you?
Hand in pants, moving mechanically:
I want you to force me –
No, delete that –
Hurt me, please, until
I can’t remember my name anymore
And I’m just a body
A body in pain but, thank god,
A body, at least.
One tick, it’s sent, two, it’s delivered
Blue ticks, it’s read. You are typing.
I think about your dick.
Hope it’s hard, think about me looking at you
Looking at me, wonder what you see –
Think about you looking at me looking at –
I’m going to slap your whore face.
Me looking at you and you looking back at me
And seeing me, my body, parts of my body,
Dissected up willingly for you –
I want you to hurt me
Delete that –
I want you to hurt
No, delete –
I want you
I want you to tell me that you think I’m real, that you think I’m a real person in the world, a real body in the world, I want you to describe me so I know you see me, I want you to think about me when you turn your phone off, I want you to touch your dick and think of me, think about me, look at me, look at me, look at me –
I’d like that.