Content warning: consensual sexual violence
The phone buzzes and my hand
Slides automatically into my underwear,
I read your text:
Do you want?
Can I hurt you?
Hand in pants, moving mechanically:
I want you to force me –
No, delete that –
Hurt me, please, until
I can’t remember my name anymore
And I’m just a body
A body in pain but, thank god,
A body, at least.
One tick, it’s sent, two, it’s delivered
Blue ticks, it’s read. You are typing.
I think about your dick.
Hope it’s hard, think about me looking at you
Looking at me, wonder what you see –
Think about you looking at me looking at –
I’m going to slap your whore face.
Me looking at you and you looking back at me
And seeing me, my body, parts of my body,
Dissected up willingly for you –
I want you to hurt me
Delete that –
I want you to hurt
No, delete –
I want you
I want you to tell me that you think I’m real, that you think I’m a real person in the world, a real body in the world, I want you to describe me so I know you see me, I want you to think about me when you turn your phone off, I want you to touch your dick and think of me, think about me, look at me, look at me, look at me –
I’d like that.
About this work
During the pandemic Robin Craig, as well as a lot of other people, got into sexting as an alternative form of intimacy. Craig wanted to write about that, and how the imaginative world of the sext contrasts against the ‘real’ world where you are often sitting alone on your bed, masturbating. Craig is also really interested in consensual sexual violence and how that is enacted through sexts.